Fountains of Life

Hidden Expectations

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By Cyndi

I came out of the water from surfing the other day frustrated. I’m still having trouble popping up on the board to my feet quick enough so I wipeout a lot. Wipeouts are not as fun as catching and riding waves. Disappointment settled in on me because I wasn’t performing like I wanted to that day.

Then words from a surfer friend of mine I’ve known for years came into my head: “But did you have fun?” Well…. No, I didn’t! I was so irritated and bummed with myself I’d left no room for fun and enjoyment. (Kinda the purpose of surfing.) Instead I had put all these demands on myself to perform, to get things right, to excel and achieve! I had forgotten all about the “having fun” part.

Later on Father God got ahold of me in my quiet time. The first thing He mentioned to me was to be careful of my expectations. These negative little nit-picky buggers hide! We don’t realize how we subconsciously have hidden expectations on our spouses, our friends, our pastor and church, and, most definitely, on ourselves. These types of expectations are usually the “demanding” ones — the “shoulds” and “ought to’s.” We hear phrases in our mind that say: “That salesperson should have been nicer.” Or, “My husband ought to have realized how stressful my day has been.”

I find myself demanding a lot from me quite often without recognizing it: “I should have taken the other way home.” “I should have given myself more time.” “I ought to have worked on this harder.” That day surfing I thought I should have popped up better, I’d been practicing. I should have caught the waves at the right time better. I should have done everything a lot better than I did, but I didn’t.

So as I began seeing these hidden expectations I put on myself, He told me to let go of them. Just drop them. He loves me no matter what. Subconsciously I’m trying to be good enough to deserve to be loved. Even for myself to love me. But I don’t have to be perfect — I’m loved anyway.  

Father God encouraged me to stop putting expectations on myself. Stop putting all this pressure on myself to do everything right the first time. Allow myself a growing/falling/growing curve. Cut myself a break, alright?! Oh, and He reminded me that this goes for others too. Yep. Spouse, family, friends, pastor/church, strangers, slow drivers — cut them some slack too. No one’s got it all together, but everyone needs to be loved.

Hebrews 12:14 exhorts us to do all we can to live in peace with everyone as much as we can. This includes ourselves. We don’t need the high blood pressure and anxiety that comes with expecting from ourselves some higher-than-average performance. Yes, we are to work hard and do our best at things, however, there’s also a time to relax and have some fun — without judgment!

So the next time I loaded up my surfboard and headed for the beach, I took a deep breath and sighed. Then I told myself to just have fun. It’s even okay if I wipeout every single time. No demands, no performance ratings. Enjoy the time in His love.

It was the best day of surfing I have ever had.

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(Thank you, Dave S. for those life changing words.)

One Step At A Time

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Rope bridge at Epworth by the Sea, St. Simon’s Island, GA

Yesterday I was reflecting back on a ladies retreat I went to last year where a few of us ventured to take on one of those high ropes obstacle courses as a team building exercise. And, yes, it was high — maybe 40 feet in the air — and yes, there were lots of ropes. But the feeling that kept coming back to me was the specific experience I had on the rope bridge obstacle.

This obstacle was a bridge of planks connected by ropes. And these wooden planks were quite distantly separated, I might add. So you had to move as a team, stepping off a platform, crossing with large strides plank to plank, and onto the other platform. 

This rope bridge reminds me of my life. There are those “launching out” seasons when I have to leave the comfort of my stable and secure platform. Looking down at that first step is scary. It’s a big one. It’s shaky and unknown. I might fall.

The ladies and I came to this launch point of crossing the rope bridge. We held hands, counted to 3, then stepped off the platform down onto that first wooden plank. It was scary. It was big. It was shaky. But nobody fell. 

You see, we held hands, which gave us stability. We also used safety ropes attached to us in case anyone did fall. Step by wobbly step we nervously crossed that bridge together. After several giant steps and lots of anxious laughter, we all made it to that final platform.

So what was the feeling I had yesterday that brought back this memory?

That feeling of launching out onto something unknown. Taking steps that seem really shaky and scary. Thoughts of falling, failing. Life can be very unsure and unknown sometimes.

Then Father God reminded me I have His hand to hold. And I have a safety rope attached to Him. I may wobble and be afraid of heights, but He’s got me. Even by chance if I were to fall, He’ll get me back up. (Ps. 37:24) I just have to take one step at a time.

Fighting Battles

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By Cyndi

Once again I looked at the weather forecast for the next few days and I dreaded the weekend—rain was coming. Again. So once again I’m thinking I’m going to have to move our bed and place a trash can to catch the water that’s dripping from the ceiling in our bedroom. Our roof is leaking. 

Having gotten estimates from roofing companies we are now waiting for news about insurance coverage before the work begins. Meanwhile, “the mold guy” came to inspect the water damage on the ceilings (yes, plural). Looks like there is water damage for sure, even down a wall. There will be work to be done.

Naturally my good Christian full-of-faith response to all of this is, “Praise God, He’s working all things for good!” However, honestly I must say this was not my first reaction. In fact, I felt quite overwhelmed. 

So for a moment let’s try to not pretend and put on our Sunday morning church faces and just be real here. There are actual battles we are all fighting—some emotional, some financial, some physical, some a combination. And they can be scary. Cancer is scary. Additions are scary. Broken families and wayward children are scary. These are undeniably intimidating battles.

This Is How I Fight My Battles

One of the newer songs out now is Surrounded. It’s quite repetitive, doesn’t do much musically; it simply sings this phrase over and over again. Why? Well, let’s think about fighting for a minute, shall we?

Ever watch boxing? Is it just a few punches and the fight’s all over? Not usually. What about wrestling? Is it just one quick takedown? Hardly ever. Think about the different wars we’ve been in—how many battlefields were fought upon? And how long did those battles last? Many took years.

Self-defense teaches you that when you’re attacked, you hit, you kick, you scream, you poke, you jab, you stomp, etc.

Where am I going with this? 

“This is how I fight my battles…this is how I fight my battles…this is how I fight my battles…this is how I fight my battles.” 

“It may look like I’m surrounded but I’m surrounded by You… It may look like I’m surrounded but I’m surrounded by You.”

Psalm 125:2 says—As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds his people both now and forevermore. Like a mother hen covers her chicks to protect them, the Lord does the same with us. (Luke 13:34)

We are all fighting something and these are fighting words. Repeat them over and over again. Like a battering ram, bang “the door” down with your praise and thanksgiving. Strike your opponent repeatedly. Depression, grief, hardships, loneliness, financial ruin…sing over them, pray over them, quote the Word over them. 

This is what I’m doing.

When I look at the water spots on my ceilings, I fight. As I’m patiently waiting for the roof work to begin, I fight. 

Do I still get overwhelmed? At times. That’s when I take a breather, gather myself and my weapons (praise music, scriptures, prayer, phone a friend) and get back into the battle. 

Father God is surrounding me. He will never not leave me. (Double negative for effect!) And He’s doing the same for you.

Observing the Rests

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by Cyndi

As a musician there are several things you have to know when you read music. There are time
signatures that tell you how to count the beat, key signatures that tell you what key to play in, and specific notes that tell you what tone to play, when to play it, and for how long to hold it. Another thing we musicians have to know is the use of rests.

Rests are symbols marked in place of a note. It tells you to be silent. You count it in time because the beat continues on and the music hasn’t stopped, but you withhold playing anything. It’s a time to wait for your next turn to play.

Just like notes, rests have time values too. Some are long and some are short. And many times, depending on what instrument you play, you may rest for a very long time before you have a note. For example, if you play crash cymbals — those loud percussion instruments that look like two trash can lids you hit together — your part in music is usually those gigantic big bang accents. Your part involves a lot of resting and waiting for just the right moment!

If we didn’t have rests written into music, all instruments would be playing at the same time, all the time. That would be disorganized noise, not music. When you watch a band or orchestra, there are times when most everyone is playing and times when only a few are playing. This is what makes music, music. 

I believe life is like music. 

Each of us has our individual part to play in this beautiful song of Creation, and, just like that band or orchestra, there are times to play notes and times to rest. 

Without resting we become tired and ineffective. We can’t catch our breath if we’re playing all the time! Rests are just as important as notes. In other words, sometimes doing nothing is just as important as doing something!

Listen to the music in life. Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us there’s a time for everything. There’s a time to play and a time to rest. Observe the rests. They are necessary. They make for more beautiful music and a more beautiful life. 

Give Thanks

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By Cyndi

1 Chronicles 16:34—Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good.

Thanksgiving is over and we’re hurling head on into the Christmas holiday. However, I’m still stuck on giving thanks. 

Give is defined by dictionary.com as “to present voluntarily and without expecting compensation.” This is an act of our will; we voluntarily do it. There’s no pressure; it’s a choice and we’re not looking for any reward because we did it. The word thanks is defined as “expressing gratitude, appreciation, or acknowledgment.” Once again I believe this is an act of our will—we choose to be grateful or appreciative and express that. So when we give thanks, we are adopting the attitude of intentionally showing gratefulness and acknowledgment for something. 

The world has begun to acknowledge the power of giving thanks. You see, gratitude has become a scientific phenomena of some sort. I challenge you to simply Google “gratitude” and see what you get. Many articles, books, and studies fill the internet with how having gratitude can make you happier, rewire your brain, and add to your emotional intelligence. Gratitude is good for your health, it’s been proven. And since the Bible has been around longer than these studies, I presume God knew all about this already.

Christians may view giving thanks as simply a command we’re supposed to obey. But I don’t think that’s how Father God sees it; He’s not that legalistic. I think He understands our physiology (of course) and knows that not only does thankfulness make us healthier and happier, but it also changes our whole outlook on life. We begin to see the “glass half-full” not half-empty. We begin to dwell on the positives not the negatives. And we begin to bring light and hope where there is darkness and despair.

As we truly see how good God is, we become light in this world. Giving thanks won’t just be an exercise of typing three things we’re grateful for on our gratitude app once a day, it will be living and breathing His goodness every hour and every minute! So not only is gratefulness good for you, it’s good for others too!

I have a feeling I may be stuck here on giving thanks for a while, especially in the Christmas season — there’s so many things I’m grateful for. I invite you to join me in this gratefulness journey. Find an app, use journal, or simply talk to God. Make a choice. Lord knows this world needs some hope and light. 

May we choose to be grateful in everything. (1 Thes. 5:18) And may our gratitude rub off on others around us this holiday season and throughout the whole year.