Fountains of Life

The Watermelon Test

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As I placed my knife on the striped green skin, anticipating a juicy red belly, an acute analogy popped into my head: we are like watermelons. No one knows what’s on the inside of us until we’re cut into.

It’s even interesting to think about the fact that the very center and core of a watermelon is called the “heart.” Luke 6:45 says, “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” And in my case, my mouth usually opens up fully when I’m cut — hurt in some way. 

Being hurt happens in many ways; I’m not necessarily referring to abuse—that is a huge topic within itself — but we Christians get the watermelon test every day while waiting on traffic, while dealing with repairs, living through health issues, raising children, changing jobs, etc.

So when we’re “cut open,” what comes out of us? Harsh words? Anger? Retaliation? Judgment? Or sweet grace, mercy, and kindness?

I found myself driving in some pretty heavy traffic the other day. Most of the day I had been out and about running errands and I was ready to come home, settle down and make dinner. Five minutes from my house, I’m sitting in a turning lane and when the light changed to green, nobody moved. After a 10-second eternity, the car at the front of the line finally saw it and turned the corner. Then the signal switched back to red again. Out of the long line of vehicles waiting, only one car turned. Now I had to wait for the entire cycle of traffic lights to circle around again.

To be honest, I was furious. I shouted and yelled, “C’mon people! Really?” with the windows up, fortunately. My skin got cut and the interior that was revealed wasn’t a sweet succulent heart. It was anger, impatience, and judgment. Then a still small voice came from deep inside me saying, “Be anxious for nothing.” (Phil. 4:6) Thankfully, there was a good thing stored deep in my heart, it just wasn’t the first thing that appeared. Didn’t go through that watermelon test with flying colors. 

A few days afterwards, a friend of mine asked if I could help her with something one morning. This would “cut” into my scheduled agenda, however, I easily rearranged things and I agreed to meet up. I believe friends and family (relationships) take precedent over whatever plans I have. My schedule was adjustable, so I readily adjusted. Ah, the smell of a ripe watermelon popping open. Passed that one.

How about you? When you’re cut into, what’s on the inside of your watermelon? Some days are better than others, I know. There are days we’re red and sweet and delicious, and other times when we’re barely pink and — well — yucky tasting. That’s life. But try looking for those watermelon tests (without judgment on yourself, of course). It’s a simple way to check what’s in our heart at that moment.

Now let me get back to cutting my watermelon up.

Movement

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I love to watch the ocean. Blues and greens all the way to the horizon creating an ever-changing border between earth and sky. Waves bolting towards the beach, rising up, doubling over and tumbling onto the sandy shore. It’s always a wonder to behold. 

And it’s always different; it’s never the same. The ocean moves continuously. Blown by the winds, disciplined by the tides, adjusted by the seasons and currents, there’s always movement.

Movement. 

As I was gazing at this marvelous wonder the other day, I heard that word — “movement.” I had been reflecting on some memories of long ago and feeling somewhat forlorn when that still small Voice said, “You can’t go back; you have to move forward.”  It’s good to remember the past and reminisce, but the past is past; we have to keeping moving forward. 

Acts 17:28 says: “In Him we live, and move, and have our being.” In Him we move. We cause to go, set in motion (kineo—Strongs). We aren’t supposed to stay the same day after day, month after month, year after year. We’re supposed to be growing, moving, changing, and developing. Improvement doesn’t happen without movement! (That’s tweetable!) 

Matthew chapter 25 is an interesting study of movement. The virgins who had vision for the future brought extra oil and trimmed their lamps; the three servants who were given talents, two of whom “moved” and invested it while the other one didn’t. What a great loss to him! And near the end of the chapter, Jesus said when we have fed, clothed, and taken care of the sick and those in prison, we have done this to Him. Do you see all the movement in this chapter?

Now I’m not promoting “works” by any means. I’m completely grounded in resting in Father’s love and learning to be still, but just like the ocean, life never stays the same — there’s always movement. 

Life affects us in a similar way as the ocean is influenced. The question is, will we move forward with the motions around us or will we try to buck against the winds and tides. Seasons change, the earth moves. 

There’s movement in our minds, our bodies, our jobs, our children, our marriages. Growth happens — or it should. I want my mind to stay fresh and alert; I want my body to stay healthy and strong; I want my job to challenge me; I want my child to grow up well; and I want my marriage to forever be moving forward as we grow older together, but none of these things will materialize out of thin air. I have to move! We have to move. Search for ways to train your brain, search for some form of physical exercise you like, search for ways to improve ourselves, our jobs, and our marriages. Endless books, podcasts, teachings, conferences, and the world wide web are at our fingertips full of more information than we can handle.

Life is full of movement. Are we moving with it? Are we taking the steps to adapt to new environments, new circumstances, new people, new places? I may not like or agree with how things are moving, but movement is a necessity of life. Stagnant water gets contaminated. I want to grow, to change, and to flow as freely as the ocean does. I want to move. 

(photo is from Playa Azul, Barahona, DR)

Growth Involves Trying

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By Cyndi

When I was a kid my father had a saying:  “Don’t tell me you can’t, tell me you’ll try.” At the time I didn’t appreciate it that much, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve discovered this is a great motto to live and grow by. Because trying involves growth, and growth involves trying. 

It’s impossible to grow and advance or succeed in something if you don’t try. Athletes and musicians know this well. There must be many hours of practice — trying — to create muscle memory and to perfect the right moves. Yes, there are failings and mistakes, but that’s all part of the necessary process.

To me, there are many, many applications of this little motto. What about trying to learn a new skill — like sewing, carpentry, fishing, painting, or cross-fit? “Oh, I’ve never done that before!” you may reply. So you don’t know how well you can do it or not unless you try. AND you don’t know whether you like doing it or not unless you try. 

Boodle Feast–Philippines

What about trying a new food? My response used to always be, “Oh, I won’t like that.” For years, my husband (who likes just about any kind of food) constantly hounded me to try new flavors, especially when traveling abroad, and for years, I fought him (I’m a simple person). Eventually I succumbed and lo, and behold, I have tried countless divers kinds of foods, including fresh tuna sashimi, goat meat, and even part of a pig’s ear. (Although I still can’t deal with mayonnaise.) Just the other day we tried some Ethiopian food. Can’t say I loved it, but can say I’ve tried it.

As we try things we grow — a lot.  We grow in knowledge, something new we learn about, like glassblowing or planting a vegetable garden; we grow actual brain paths within our brain as we attempt unfamiliar activities (neuroplasticity is a big thing now); we grow physically with new exercises or health changes (ever try rock climbing?); and we also grow spiritually as we try different ways of study, meditation, and being open to doctrinal challenges. Actually, if you’re really looking to grow spiritually, listen or read something that confronts your beliefs. 

Growth is a part of life. We should never finish growing. It’s proven to be healthy to continue learning and challenging ourselves. In fact, I have a 95-year-old grandmother who still loves to do sudokus and crossword puzzles. She also reads constantly. Needless to say, her mind is still quite sharp. I also know quite a few surfers who are still surfing into their retirement years and runners doing races into their 70s. I believe we are never too old to try something new. Because if we stop trying, we stop growing.

Thanks to my dad’s little saying I have ran marathons, traveled to over 20 countries, learned computer programs, played music and several instruments, eaten strange foods with interesting people, hiked mountains, zip-lined canyons, seen sharks while diving, skied a little, and speak some Spanish. Some of these things (and a torrent of others) I did well and some I did not. But at least I tried. Several years ago I even tried to train for a triathlon but ended up breaking my wrist.

So… I just got some wrist guards — I’m thinking about trying skateboarding with my son’s old longboard now. 

When I Am Weak, Then I Am Strong

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by Cyndi

Upon returning from a mission trip with a scratchy throat, then preparing to leave for out of town again, a nasty cold seized me. Frankly, I can’t remember the last time I’d been sick, but this one was a doozy. It put me in bed a couple days and I had hoped it would lessen by the time we went up to teach at a Shiloh Place school the following week. Unfortunately, it didn’t.

On the day I was to teach, I came prepared with tissues and cough drops and hoped the cold medicine the night before hadn’t spaced me out too much. There’s a wonderful group of people we work with at these schools, so at the morning team meeting, after they prayed for me, one of the sweet ladies gave me a verse: 2 Cor. 12:10 — For when I am weak, then I am strong.

This has always been one of my favorite verses because it embodies the divine exchange. When I acknowledge my weakness and inability, it is the very thing that empowers and strengthens me. You see, I have nothing without Father. Well, let me clarify—yes, I have talents, skills, education, etc.— however, if I use them and rely on myself only, I may fail. Oh I can succeed too, causing a boost to my ego, but I can also so easily fail. And if I do fail, the condemnation and rejection is almost unbearable. 

Yet, if I understand that God is good and loves me no matter what happens, there is no fear of failure or disappointment — it’s Him using my abilities. And when I don’t have a need to take credit for anything, I’m strengthened and emboldened. There is nothing to prove, no pressure to perform, no impression to make. I have everything with Him.

I felt terrible that morning and was physically weak. I had to teach, but that precious woman’s word had encouraged me. I was reminded me that I’m just a little child who has a great Big Daddy. He would be my strength. 

When I stay little, weak, and needy in my own eyes, I become secure and powerful through Him. Perhaps occasionally I need to be weakened a bit, just to remind me of how strong I can be with the divine exchange.

And by the way—I think that was one of my best teaching days ever!

Hidden Expectations

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By Cyndi

I came out of the water from surfing the other day frustrated. I’m still having trouble popping up on the board to my feet quick enough so I wipeout a lot. Wipeouts are not as fun as catching and riding waves. Disappointment settled in on me because I wasn’t performing like I wanted to that day.

Then words from a surfer friend of mine I’ve known for years came into my head: “But did you have fun?” Well…. No, I didn’t! I was so irritated and bummed with myself I’d left no room for fun and enjoyment. (Kinda the purpose of surfing.) Instead I had put all these demands on myself to perform, to get things right, to excel and achieve! I had forgotten all about the “having fun” part.

Later on Father God got ahold of me in my quiet time. The first thing He mentioned to me was to be careful of my expectations. These negative little nit-picky buggers hide! We don’t realize how we subconsciously have hidden expectations on our spouses, our friends, our pastor and church, and, most definitely, on ourselves. These types of expectations are usually the “demanding” ones — the “shoulds” and “ought to’s.” We hear phrases in our mind that say: “That salesperson should have been nicer.” Or, “My husband ought to have realized how stressful my day has been.”

I find myself demanding a lot from me quite often without recognizing it: “I should have taken the other way home.” “I should have given myself more time.” “I ought to have worked on this harder.” That day surfing I thought I should have popped up better, I’d been practicing. I should have caught the waves at the right time better. I should have done everything a lot better than I did, but I didn’t.

So as I began seeing these hidden expectations I put on myself, He told me to let go of them. Just drop them. He loves me no matter what. Subconsciously I’m trying to be good enough to deserve to be loved. Even for myself to love me. But I don’t have to be perfect — I’m loved anyway.  

Father God encouraged me to stop putting expectations on myself. Stop putting all this pressure on myself to do everything right the first time. Allow myself a growing/falling/growing curve. Cut myself a break, alright?! Oh, and He reminded me that this goes for others too. Yep. Spouse, family, friends, pastor/church, strangers, slow drivers — cut them some slack too. No one’s got it all together, but everyone needs to be loved.

Hebrews 12:14 exhorts us to do all we can to live in peace with everyone as much as we can. This includes ourselves. We don’t need the high blood pressure and anxiety that comes with expecting from ourselves some higher-than-average performance. Yes, we are to work hard and do our best at things, however, there’s also a time to relax and have some fun — without judgment!

So the next time I loaded up my surfboard and headed for the beach, I took a deep breath and sighed. Then I told myself to just have fun. It’s even okay if I wipeout every single time. No demands, no performance ratings. Enjoy the time in His love.

It was the best day of surfing I have ever had.

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(Thank you, Dave S. for those life changing words.)