by Cyndi

I was reading an interesting book the other day and I paused when I ran across this quote:  

“When I admit I don’t know something, at that point, it enables me to find out and learn. The know-it-alls of this world are too busy trying not to feel insecure to open their minds to learn.”*

Maybe not the best grammatically written sentences, and perhaps they may be filled with a touch of judgement, but the truth within them stood out to me: we are either “learners” or “insecure.”

If we weren’t insecure we’d probably be willing to learn about anything. Now in today’s age we “google” everything; we can look up anything or anybody. And we do. However, what we don’t tend to look up are subjects in those areas we think we already know something. If we feel like we already know something, there’s no need to search for more. We’re “know-it-alls” as this writer put it. 

The learners always look for more to learn, ways to improve or do more efficiently. I believe these are those who want to go from “good to great.” And why wouldn’t you? Well, basically because of insecurity.

I used to be quite insecure about many things — computer skills, public speaking, any sort of ‘performance’ in front of people. Some topics I had a little skill or experience, but there were other areas where I just didn’t want to try because I thought I would fail. I didn’t see failing as an option, I saw it as rejection. But if you can’t fail, you can’t learn. I needed to let go of my insecurities.

How did I let go of my insecurities? Father’s love. The more I learned (and experienced) how much He loves me, accepts me, and doesn’t judge me, the more I’m willing to try. There is freedom to fail. No matter what the world may say about me, I’m still okay. I’m still loved.

Imagine a little crawling baby who pulls himself up on the coffee table for the first time and thinks about taking a step. What does the father do? He cheers him on, encouraging him to take a step. His tiny legs wobble as he attempts the feat. But what if he falls? (He probably will several times.) The father will smile and inspire him to keep trying until he’s eventually walking on his own. I believe Father God is just like this. He’s not afraid of my failings, so why should I be? It’s a part of learning and growing.

So when I use my Duolingo app to study Spanish and I loose all my hearts (life) on some of the lessons and have to quit, I don’t condemn myself. He doesn’t. I’m learning. When I can’t find something at the grocery store, I ask someone. I used to be too insecure to do that; I’d go through the whole place up and down every aisle and then leave if I couldn’t find it myself. I was ashamed I couldn’t figure it out on my own. Father never shames me.

There’s nothing wrong with not knowing something. (Double negative on purpose!) Father God is our security blanket. He is always with us. And I’m learning that not knowing something is a perfect opportunity to learn. Of course, I’m not perfectly secure in everything, and there are times when I need ministry to dig into why I’m struggling with being insecure in certain areas, but I try to keep moving forward. 

When I admit I don’t know something, it causes me to trust Father even more. If my security, approval, and love come from Him and no one else, I’m free to learn anything and not fear judgement.

__________

*Quote from Off the Grid by Capt. Mark J. Reinhardt

We recently sang a new song in church called Another in the Fire by Hillsong United which reminded me again of how close the Lord really is to us. 

Based on the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from Daniel chapter 3, the faith of these three men was tested by King Nebuchadnezzar as they chose to be thrown into a furnace rather than bow and bestow worship to an image. They knew there was only one true God and nothing or no one else was to be treated as divine or worthy of worship.  

So into the fire they were pitched. 

Ever feel like you’ve been pitched into the fire? In situations or circumstances where you’re getting overwhelmed and burnt up? Where there is no win-win resolution, only what seemed like a lose-lose one?

Sometimes we just can’t go around certain obstacles; we have to go through them. Illnesses, cancer, losses can be some of those difficulties where we pray and believe for miracles, yet we still have to walk through the process. We get pitched into the fiery furnace. 

This is where we, like those three guys in the Old Testament, have our faith tested. This is where we truly find out what we believe in our heart of hearts. This is where all our words and sayings can fall to the ground in a puddle of tears as we face fears and trials like we never have before. This is where God reveals how close He is to us. 

Immanuel — God with us. (Matt. 1:23) Jesus promised He will never leave us nor forsake us (Heb.13:5). He promised He would always be with us, even to the ends of the earth (Matt. 28:20). And there are definitely times when we feel like we are at the ends of the earth, deep in the fires of grief and pain, caught up in fears of the unknown. 

It’s right here in this uncomfortable, dire, and agonizing place where we make that choice exactly like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego did. I remember making that choice four years after my father had died of colon cancer. It was in the afternoon, newly planted in a foreign country where I knew not their language nor their culture, and I was all alone in my bedroom ironing, talking to God. I slammed the iron down. The grief I had buried up till then came out as hot anger as I yelled at Him, “Why did you take my father?” Then with tears in my eyes Father God held me as I finally let go of needing to understand the “whys” and allowed the ache in my heart from missing my dad to be smothered under a blanket of unconditional love.

We have to choose to trust in God’s incredible love as we go through the fire. It’s not easy. It’s possible there may even be death or loss at the end. Those men didn’t know, but they knew His love. It never fails. (1 Cor. 13:8) 

King Nebuchadnezzar watched as those men were thrown into the fire then “he rose in haste and spoke, saying to his counselors, ‘Did we not cast three men bound into the midst of the fire?’ They answered and said to the king, ‘True, O king.’ ‘Look!’ he answered, ‘I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.’” (Dan. 3:24, 25) 

There was another in the fire.

My dear reader, let this story of these tenacious men encourage you. God is so, so close to you. Choose to trust Him. When you can’t go over, under, or around those obstacles that come into your life and you just have to go through them, there will be another in the fire with you too. You are never alone. 

by Cyndi

Upon returning from a mission trip with a scratchy throat, then preparing to leave for out of town again, a nasty cold seized me. Frankly, I can’t remember the last time I’d been sick, but this one was a doozy. It put me in bed a couple days and I had hoped it would lessen by the time we went up to teach at a Shiloh Place school the following week. Unfortunately, it didn’t.

On the day I was to teach, I came prepared with tissues and cough drops and hoped the cold medicine the night before hadn’t spaced me out too much. There’s a wonderful group of people we work with at these schools, so at the morning team meeting, after they prayed for me, one of the sweet ladies gave me a verse: 2 Cor. 12:10 — For when I am weak, then I am strong.

This has always been one of my favorite verses because it embodies the divine exchange. When I acknowledge my weakness and inability, it is the very thing that empowers and strengthens me. You see, I have nothing without Father. Well, let me clarify—yes, I have talents, skills, education, etc.— however, if I use them and rely on myself only, I may fail. Oh I can succeed too, causing a boost to my ego, but I can also so easily fail. And if I do fail, the condemnation and rejection is almost unbearable. 

Yet, if I understand that God is good and loves me no matter what happens, there is no fear of failure or disappointment — it’s Him using my abilities. And when I don’t have a need to take credit for anything, I’m strengthened and emboldened. There is nothing to prove, no pressure to perform, no impression to make. I have everything with Him.

I felt terrible that morning and was physically weak. I had to teach, but that precious woman’s word had encouraged me. I was reminded me that I’m just a little child who has a great Big Daddy. He would be my strength. 

When I stay little, weak, and needy in my own eyes, I become secure and powerful through Him. Perhaps occasionally I need to be weakened a bit, just to remind me of how strong I can be with the divine exchange.

And by the way—I think that was one of my best teaching days ever!