By Cyndi

The other day I was in line at the post office to mail a package. There were 5 people in front of me, not including the two people at the counter, and a lady behind me. As we were all waiting our turn, an elderly gentleman walked in using a cane while carrying a heavy package. He set the box down on the divider and nicely mentioned to the lady behind me that he was in line but because the package weighed so much, he was going to stand by it just a few feet away from her.

Observing the load the man had, as well as his age and disability, the second person in line nicely asked him to go before her, giving up her place. However, when the woman who was first in line was called to the counter, she insisted he go ahead instead. Slightly embarrassed, the elderly man glanced at all of us whom he would be cutting in front of. But with big smiles and head nods in agreement, all of us urged him to jump ahead and go straight to the counter. Humbly and gratefully he hobbled forward with his cane to the postal worker.

At that moment I was overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers. Looking into the faces of each person this elderly man was allowed to “cut” in front of, I saw graciousness and tolerance. When daily I watch the news and hear about so much negativity in the world, I was encouraged by the courtesy and generosity of these regular people. It just so happened that within this line there were different races, different ages, and different genders. And who knows how many other things we were all different in, yet, decency and love of fellow man reigned.

Then after leaving the post office I felt the Lord tug on my heart. He said, “Now that was a positive point, wasn’t it? You should look for those moments more often.”

It was a moment — a positive point. A point where a situation typically perceived as negative (like standing in line), changes to where something positive comes out of it.

Yes, this did seem like a rare occurrence, however, I believe these things do happen daily — most of which we never identify or even notice, much less celebrate. There really are some kind and thoughtful people still out there in this world. Maybe they’re Christians, maybe not. But those of us who are, what a great way to express Father’s love to strangers.

So now I’m on a mission: to find positive points throughout my day. I know they’re there, I just have to be diligent to look for them. To not get so caught up in the negatives of my day and try to see the positives that are there. Will you join me in the search during your day?

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I’d love to know what positive points you find. It’d be great if you could share them in the comments of this blog post so we all can see and celebrate. Thanks dear readers.

By Cyndi

At Fountains of Life we use a phrase often: Healthy pastors make healthy churches. But let’s unfold this a little.

What do we mean by “healthy”? This is not necessarily looking at the physical health of pastors, though that’s important too, but about their skills in dealing with relationships — particularly family and congregations.

First of all, the core of a pastor is his family. They need to be fed and nourished. Demonstrating love, attention, affection, appreciation, and spending quality time with them — or the lack thereof — determines the health of their families. If the spouse and children feel cared for, they are more likely to be supportive and willingly helpful in the ministry. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

Secondly, the sheep need to feel cared for also. A congregation is simply an extension of the core family — “brothers and sisters” in Christ. However, that does not mean that a pastor is at the beck-and-call of everyone. Being able to set good boundaries, balance sermon preparations with hospital calls, and not getting into “saving” his or her people can be difficult. After all, they are “servants” of the Lord. But they are not saviors. Only Jesus is. However, with good hearts, they try and soon burn out working so hard. And, yes, they also have normal pressures like bills to pay, mouths to feed.

Pastoring is extremely challenging. Statistics show that 50% of them consider quitting about every 3 months and 70% have lost self-esteem since commencing pastoring. Conflicts constantly happen in their parishes and at home. Their jobs are based on emotional, relational, and communicational skills, plus spiritual factors.

This is where we help. Our trainings encourage them, primarily, that they are unconditionally loved. They don’t have to DO something for God to love them. And when they get this, we invite them to share it with their families, then their churches. We want to see whole, robust, vigorous, fresh, lively, flourishing, unimpaired — healthy — pastors. And when we do, we will see healthy churches.

And for you sheep out there, pray for your pastor. Love them, cherish them, and don’t pull on them. They’re people like us, just with more accountability to God for watching over you. Give them time with their families and spouse to rest and rejuvenate. You’ll church will see the difference.

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(If you’re interested in having us speak at your church or train your leadership in ministering

the Father’s Love contact us.)

By Cyndi

A culture is created, grounded, and sustained by specific mindsets and habits that are repeatedly observed, experienced, and performed over a period of time and transmitted from one generation to another.

I grew up on the west side of town. A Westsider’s culture (a subculture of my city, region, nationality) was one of pickup trucks, dirt roads, Southern cooking, respect for elders, and a love for our country and flag. Using “yes, ma’am,” and “yes, sir,” to everyone was ingrained in us as a child. To this day I still observe my mother at 79 years old using these verbal manners to bank tellers and people much younger than her. Why? It’s a part of our culture.

Specific beliefs and behaviors also define a culture. Your behaviors will reflect your beliefs. For example, if your culture taught you to respect elders, your behavior will demonstrate patience, love, affirmation, and care of elders. If your culture taught you to hate a specific racial group, your behaviors will concur with those convictions.

So what defines a culture of the Father’s love and how do we create it? What are specific traits that reflect God and His nature?

Without making a list of dos and don’ts — which is actually against a Father’s love culture — let me try to give a few attributes. Most of these I learned (experienced, observed) over the years from Jack and Trisha Frost of Shiloh Place Ministries.

Attributes of a Father’s Love Culture

• Humility—Andrew Murray in his book Humility, defines this word as “the willingness to know and be known for who you really are.” This is the good, the bad, and the ugly. We accept the fact that we are prideful human beings and need God’s abundant grace to be able to change. And that nothing is beneath us. Not even cleaning bathrooms. At the family conferences Shiloh Place used to have, the team members were the ones who stuck around afterwards to tidy up the church and prepare it again for Sunday. Usually it was Trisha herself who volunteered to clean the bathrooms. She was not “too important” for that job. What an example.
• Caring—It is one thing to say “be warm and filled,” and quite another to invest in someone’s life. A culture of Father’s love is willing to sacrifice. I saw a wonderful example of this in Doug Jones, one of the original Shiloh Place team members. During a meeting there was a young couple trying to listen to the speaker and they were being distracted by their infant doing what babies do. Doug, who was a large middle-aged bearded man, kindly asked if he could hold the child so they could focus on the teaching. The parents willingly agreed as he paced the the back of the room gently cuddling the little one in his chest. Doug expressed Father’s love to this couple.
• Open-Heartedness—All of us have been hurt by people, the church, organizations, etc. In the pains of our past it’s difficult at times to keep our hearts open. It’s a vulnerable position and we are likely to be wounded again. Yet, we when realize Father God is always a refuge and a safe place to find healing, we will continue to open our hearts even when we get stepped on. Forgiveness flows and ultimately this leads to us becoming a safe place for others.
• Value of Others—After receiving love it’s easier to give it away. As we see how God values us, we understand He values everyone and desires the same for all. At one Shiloh Place Father’s Love conference it was lunchtime and everyone was lined up at the cafeteria with their trays. A woman was beginning to walk away with her food when she accidentally dropped her tray and spilled everything. The first person who bent down to help her was Jack, the main speaker. He tried to ease her embarrassment, letting her know accidents happen and her worth is not determined by her “performing” in any way.

A Process, Not Perfection I wish I could say I was exemplifying these attributes perfectly myself but I’m not. However, they are the goal I’m reaching for. As it is said, if you aim for nothing — that’s what you’ll hit. Part of a Father’s love culture is knowing we’re all in process. No one has “arrived” at perfection yet. Being secure in this fact is valuing and caring for yourself; it’s being humble and resting in His love acknowledging that He’s working in you.

Beliefs and Behaviors These listed attributes are not all but some of the behaviors behind the belief that God loves you no matter what. “There is nothing you can do that can make God love you any more than He already does, and there’s nothing you can do that can make Him love you any less.“ — Jack Frost

Rom 8:39 — Nothing is able to separate us from the love of God

that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

If our behaviors reflect we believe this verse, a Father’s Love culture is being transmitted to those around us.

By Cyndi

Many of us struggle with being accepted and welcomed into a group or a family of some sort. In the world’s system there are 3 B’s of acceptance: 1) Behave, 2) Believe, 3) Belong.

The first B of acceptance is having to behave like others. You have to look like them, talk like them, act like them, dress like them. Think about the Pharisees of the Bible, they were all about conforming to their ways. Tithing your ten percent was taken extremely serious by them, even to the point of counting out their kitchen herbs (Luke 11:42). Perfection mattered to them. And what about gangs — supposedly the “rebellious” ones of rules and regulations. Yet some of their initiations require getting “beat down,” “jacked in,” or “blood in” to be able to join the rest of the thugs. You’ve got to conform to their standards. Most groups insist on specifications as to how you’re supposed to behave to be affiliated as a member.

The second B of acceptance is you have to believe just like whatever group you’re hoping to be accepted in. The Pharisees had particular beliefs and customs you had to obey. Gangs and other “militant” organizations demand that you see politics, social standards, or racial views the same as them or else something bad may happen to you or your family. High school also has their share of cliques surrounding certain beliefs — the jocks, the nerds, the druggies, the preppies, and so on. All of which are trying to conform you to their own belief system.

Finally the third B of worldly acceptance is once you have adapted your beliefs and your behaviors to them, you can then belong to the group. However, your acceptance is based on whether you can fulfill these requirements or not. Some of these are spoken and some are not. They may just expect you to figure them out.

And once you comply with all of the qualifications then you’ll get all the love, acceptance and favor you think you’ll ever need. You’ll now be officially welcomed as a part of this organization, club, association, etc. And isn’t that what everyone wants? To be included? Accepted? Loved?

Luckily for us God’s ways are not the same as the world’s. In fact, they’re usually the opposite. He has His own system of acceptance.

God’s 3 B’s of Acceptance:

1. You belong. God receives you just as you are, with mistakes, scars, baggage, whatever. It doesn’t matter. You are welcomed to be with Him. Feeling loved and accepted just as you are, validates your personhood, your identity. His love causes hope, faith, and trust to arise in you.
2. You start to believe in ways you never have before. Feeling loved changes your outlook on life. You embrace truths of God’s word that express love and freedom.
3. You begin to behave differently New truths you’ve embraced bring new behavior. You’ve changed from the inside out and you no longer want to live in the old ways.

God’s model of acceptance is the world’s in reverse. He wants you to know today that, first of all, you belong to Him. That’s the first step. He understands that the change of heart and actions will come later.

You are His creation. You are wonderfully made (Ps. 139:14). And He not only loves you, He likes you too. You are His child and are accepted just the way you are (I Jn. 3:1; Eph.1:11,12).